It's hard to believe that Rose has only been in our lives for a little more than three weeks. I know that attachment is a process, but it really does feel like she knows and loves us. She certainly cries when I leave the room. All four of the older kids are on spring break this week and I was dreading having them home, because I thought things might be too crazy for Rose, but she seems to be taking it in stride. I, on the other hand, just might go crazy, but that is par for the course with spring break and me.
Anyway, this isn't about me. It's about Rose. First of all, an announcement. I said I wasn't going to keep the "Letters to Rose" as a regular feature when we got home. I also told myself that I was going to fill out one of those calendars where you write what the baby is doing every day for the first year. I've filled them out for the other kids, and they have been the bane of my existence. Inevitably, I get off track for a day (or a month) and then have to wrack my brain and make things up for each day. So I'm going to do a weekly update for Rose. I hope that at the end of the first year, we can turn it into a little book for her, and it will free me from the Mommy guilt of not doing one of those
stupid calendars.
I think it's time to talk about where Rose was when we got her and where she is now, developmentally speaking. Rose was in an orphanage. I think as far as orphanages go, it was a pretty good one. Our SWI director is very pro-active about getting babies ready for adoption quickly. Rose, who was matched at five months, is a good example of this-- it's atypical for babies to be paper-ready so young. She's also enthusiastic about moving to a better facility-- they're in the process of moving to a new building. I saw kids who were clean and well cared for, and nannies who seemed to treat the kids well. But it was definitely an orphanage. The older kids (the ones who were at least fifteen months or so) were mostly up and out of cribs, in walkers or toddling around the floor, but the babies Rose's age spent most of their time either on their backs or propped up in the corner of their cribs. They not only had the four layers of clothing that is typical in Chinese winters, but I also saw several pictures of Rose with a towel wrapped around her waist, Michelin man-style. I knew before we went to get her that for every two months in the SWI, you can expect a month of delays, so I was expecting Rose to be like a six month old instead of a twelve month old, and that's exactly what she was like when we got her. She didn't know how to sit, or roll over, and she would eat only rice cereal or formula in a bottle. She didn't bear any weight on her legs, and barely babbled or cooed. She'd also get super-sweaty whenever we gave her a bottle, like she was in a race to suck the whole thing down before it got taken away from her. She was really good at smiling and looking cute, and she had great fine motor skills (she could take a ring and put it on her finger and then transfer it to a finger on her other hand, for example) but the gross motor skills were seriously lacking.
When we were in China, Rose learned to sit and roll over. She was pretty tentative at both, and very likely to tip. We threw away the Gerber puffs we'd brought and just fed her rice cereal. We didn't know how long it would take her to catch up, so we signed her up with early intervention as soon as we got home. But she's made such great strides in the last two weeks that I wonder if they'll have much to work on with her when they see her next week. She can now sit as long as she wants to. She uses rolling as a means of getting from one side of the room to the other. She not only bears weight on her legs, but she can also hang onto the couch or the table and stand up. She waves bye-bye and nods her head for "yes." She's starting to creep on her belly. She's also progressed to eating anything we're eating-- rice, bread, ice cream, and even beans and chicken! It's dangerous to eat in her presence if you don't want to share. She's also markedly less sweaty after a bottle than she used to be-- I think she realizes that it's not going anywhere if she doesn't suck it down in a hurry.
All Rose needed was some room to spread out and a family to cheer her on, and she's already starting to blossom (okay, bad pun, but I couldn't resist). This is the first time I've ever had a child who wasn't positively running in circles at their first birthday, but I've also never been prouder at the strides one of my kids has made. She might not walk for another six months, but I do feel like she's on the right track.
I also have to say that while the gross motor delays are a little concerning, I feel so grateful that from a social standpoint, she seems to be doing great. She was definitely not ignored during her time in Xuzhou. She came to us knowing how to smile and cuddle, and she gives us hugs and kisses. My biggest fear was that our baby would be emotionally shut down, and we'd have trouble making a connection with her, but that has not been the case at all. I'm not quite sure how she can be so well-adjusted socially but so delayed in her development, but we could not be happier with her. Whenever anyone comes home, the first thing they want to do is find Rose and squeeze her. I'm so grateful that we're able to have this sweet little baby in our lives, and if you want something from me and I've been ignoring you-- you're not alone. I've been ignoring everyone while I spend my time giving Rose as much love as I can.
