Monday, October 24, 2011

Book Review: The Connected Child by Karyn B. Purvis

Title: The Connected Child: For Parents Who Have Welcomed Children
Author: Karyn B. Purvis
Usefulness Rating: It's hard to say until Rose gets here, but I thought it was useful for my other kids
Referral: Terri Coley, an adoptive mom and friend of my godmother
Source: purchased from Amazon
Books I've read this year: 134

If you've been reading this blog for a while, you may have noticed that considering the fact that I have a bunch of kids, I really don't read a lot of parenting books. I used to when Bryce and Annie were little. Then, eventually, I learned to trust myself more than I trusted the advice of some expert and didn't feel like I needed them all that much. But I did notice that I was a more engaged parent when I was reading the books and attempting to put them into practice.

Now that Rose is joining the family, I feel a little bit like I'm starting over. I know how to handle sleepless nights, the terrible twos, and time outs really well. What I don't know how to do is to help a child who didn't spend the first year of her life with me feel connected to me as her mother, since that Mommy-baby nursing, cuddling, gazing thing all just happened by instinct. I need to learn how to recreate it for someone who didn't get it in the first year. And that's what The Connected Child sets out to do.

The book reminds me quite a lot of Parenting Your Internationally Adopted Child-- the idea of connection is central to both, but PYIAC covers a lot of other things too and it's a much bigger book, while The Connected Child feels more focused. When I read PYIAC I felt like I knew I had to come back and read it again once Rose arrived, but with The Connected Child, there were lots of things I felt I could apply in my connection with the kids who are in my family already, particularly the Aspie one who struggles socially. So I'll work on trying out some of these techniques now, and maybe by the time Rose gets here, they too will feel instinctual. If not, I always know where I can go for a refresher.

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