Now that I'm a cub scout leader, my Tuesday nights are spent ferrying smelly little boys to and from the church. On this particular Tuesday, I pointed four of them towards my van and wandered over to talk to a friend. When I finally opened the front door to climb in the car, I met major calamity.
Kid #1: "Sister M, Sister M, Bryce is being lewd. You have to make him stop!"
Kid #2: "Yeah, he just said something absolutely foul and disgusting. He must have a really bad vocabulary to stoop to use those words."
Me (fearing the worst): "What did he say?"
Kid #1: "He was telling the story of a guy named [whispered] Naked Man...
Kid #2: "...and talking about how he pees and poops."
Kid #1: "Isn't that disgusting?"
Me: "Bryce, knock it off, at least until your friends get out of the car."
Bryce (pretending he can't hear): "So Naked Man went to the soccer game...."
Kid #1: "Sister M!!!! He's still doing it!"
Kid #2: "Yeah, his vocabulary is totally crappy."
Kid #1: "Yeah, crappy."
The squabbling continued in the same manner until we dropped the boys off. Maybe their mom won't let me drive their carpool anymore (and if you're reading this, know that I'm totally joking). I guess I'm leading my kids down into evil paths of sin by allowing them to use such vulgar words. "Urinate" and "tinkle" were the only proper bathroom words allowed in Eddie's house growing up. In my house we would have laughed at any kid who used the words "urinate" and "tinkle." I love bathroom words, and my kids say them all. They may not be well-mannered, but at least I'm consistent, right?
5 comments:
yeah potty words are just the way it is around here too.
I'm surprised that a cub scout used the word, "lewd"!
We are on the ultra conservative side of the fence here. We "toot" and go "little" or "big" potty. That will probably end soon as the oldest is 8.
I love the irony. :) I think most normal 8 year olds use potty words.
Yeah, "lewd" was used, as was "vulgar." They're really smart kids with really smart parents and freakishly exceptional vocabularies.
Maybe you should have told them the word "crappy" was not allowed in your van and you would have to report them to their parents.
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