Title: The Feminine Mistake: Are We Giving Up too Much?
Author: Leslie Bennetts
Bennetts explores the reasons why upper-middle-class professional women shouldn't quit their day jobs to stay at home with their kids. She makes arguments for loss of earning power, loss of sharp brain function, loss of job skills, loss of independence, and age and gender discrimination.
Bennetts makes excellent points in her book, most convincingly the argument that giving up a career entirely limits a woman's economic freedom, putting her in "golden handcuffs" to her husband. And what if the man leaves, gets disabled or dies? I've actually made some changes in my own life since reading the book, like taking a more hands-on approach to our finances (I'm not really that interested in them, but I guess it's like eating my vegetables) and trying to put into place some long-term strategies to get back into doing what I love professionally. But Bennetts's attitude really rubbed me the wrong way. She insists that she's not adding to the Mommy Wars in any way, but she's much more Howard Stern than Neal Conan. I actually think a more accurate title for the book would be: The Feminine Mistake: You're Giving Up Too Much, But I'm Not, Neener-neener-neener. She goes on and on (and on) glorifying her own life, her own husband and her own choices to be a working mom. Basically her point is that if you're a SAHM without your own bank account and your own income, your future is in peril. And if you plan to SAH after your kids go back to school, well then you're really throwing away your life.
6 comments:
I remember hearing baout htis book after it came out-i thought it would rub me wrong- I think we're doing okay- we keep out hands in enough pots that should be need more, we'd be easily able to fall back in
where do you find time to read all of these books? oh and I tagged you on my blog ;) (6 quirks post)
I teach women's studies at a university...and am talking to my class about this very topic. I am, obviously a working mother, but have spent time at home as well. I wish women didn't publish books like this because it's perpetuating the myth that one side or the other is "right" or "best." It is so individual! The "best" choice can vary by: time in your career, by your child's temperament and abilities or disabilities, by your temperment, by your age (youngest child vs. oldest child), by the number of children you have. The funny thing is, most women end up doing both at least for some portion of their life. It's not us v. them.
Thanks for commenting on the book in a fair manner...you could have been much harsher, but you fairly reported what you learned as well as what you disagreed with.
Ha! very funny review. I love how you actually write about and process what you read, instead of doing what I do: read, move on to the next book, and forget.
For a view from the side of returning to work after a career break, you might want to read Back on the Career Track: A Guide for Stay-at-Home Moms Who Want to Return to Work. The first half of the book gives return to work strategy and the second half gives an overview of employer and university response to growing numbers of women returning to work after a career break.
thanks for the suggestion, Carol!
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