Just a normal day...

6:21am- A cry rings out throughout the house. It's Annie. She thinks it's 8:00 and she's late for school (despite the fact that it's dark outside). The power went off during the night and we decided not to reset the clock in her room.

6:30am- I unstick myself from my sheets (whenever the upstairs air conditioner kicks on, it shuts off the circuit breaker, so we finally got smart and turned it off). I curse the fact that although it's still dark and barely April, it's already hot enough in Texas to necessitate artifically cooled air.

7:40am- Kids dressed and fed and loaded in the van. We're off to school.

8:12am- Pull into YMCA parking lot. Carry both kids, gym bag, diaper bag and the walker across the parking lot. Figure that was enough of a workout, get back in the car, drive home. (ok, not really)

9:45am- Call the air conditioning guy. He sounds interested and eager. I have a feeling this is going to be expensive.

9:48am- Arrive at the drive-thru of the donut shop. Resist the urge to lick all of the chocolate frosting off of Isaac's donut before handing it to him.

10:05am- Park the car at Target. Use three wipes to get all of the chocolate off of Isaac's hands, face and shirt.

10:20, 10:35am- Run into two people from the ward while wearing my slightly skanky gym clothes.

10:38am- Submit to peer pressure and buy a Pikachu stuffed toy for Isaac (I promise, I'm working on breaking the toy habit, just not today).

10:50am- Leave Target.

11:00am- Realize I forgot to buy batteries and shampoo.

11:17am- Pooptastrophe. Maren has removed her diaper and there are nuggets on the family room rug and floor. It's an eight-wipe cleanup job.

11:45am- Repairman on his way. Decide I should change out of the aforementioned gym clothes before he arrives.

12:00-1:15pm- Clean the downstairs, focusing on the family room floor, while waiting for the repairman (wasn't he on his way?)

1:53pm- Pooptastrophe #2. Isaac decides that playing outside while watching the repairman is so diverting that he can't come in to use the facilities. It's at least a 15-wipe cleanup job, and when I'm done, the underpants are in the garbage and the grass needs to be hosed down.

2:21pm- With brownies in the oven, the circuit breaker goes again. This is getting really old.

2:40pm- The repairman delivers the news of doom. We need a completely new air conditioning unit for the upstairs. Which he has to order. It's 87 degrees and more than 80% humidity.

2:43pm- It starts to pour. I no longer need to hose down the grass. That's the first good news all day.

2:57pm- Perform my fast and illegal maneuver to pick up the big kids at school. Neither Isaac nor Maren is wearing any pants, although Maren is still wearing her diaper. It's a good thing I don't get pulled over.

3:42pm- Start making dinner for my friend who just had a baby. Get interrupted by yelps from the living room. Annie went in to practice the piano to find Maren, no longer wearing her diaper, feet happily squishing poop into the white carpet. It's pooptastrophe #3 and it takes about 20 wipes to clean it up. I want to go to bed.

3:52pm- Wash hands thoroughly before resuming the meal.

4:20pm- Annie tattles on Bryce (he's kicking Isaac)

4:25pm- Annie tattles on Bryce (he's licking her)

4:30pm- Annie tattles on Bryce (he's throwing the pillows from my bed to the floor)

4:33pm- I move a pan of chicken from the oven to the broiler, to turn the potato chip coating golden brown.

4:35pm- Annie tattles on Bryce (he called Maren a "poopoo head")

4:35:30pm- I summon Bryce downstairs and yell at him for a few minutes. Until I smell smoke.

4:38pm- The potato chips now resemble charcoal briquettes.

4:48pm- I've salvaged enough of the dinner to deliver it. Isaac comes along with, although instead of just missing his pants this time, he's also short a pair of underpants, which are sitting up on my bathroom floor in a puddle of pee.

5:24pm- Eddie's on his way home. We eat the more burned part of the dinner while we wait for him.

6:15pm- Annie, sitting on the couch after eating a piece of her easter candy, picks up something brown, turns to me, and says, "is this chocolate or poo?" Today, I don't think I could tell you. To show you how desensitizied I've become, I stick my nose right up next to it before determining that it's just chocolate (phew).

8:08pm- Three kids in bed, one at scouts. I'm about to spend some time preparing for our book group discussion tomorrow night, take a cold shower, and get into my lonely bed. Eddie is at work, again, which is a good thing considering the cost of the new air conditioner. At least it's cool at the hospital, right?