Tuesday, December 11, 2007

That's it. I'm messing with Texas

Dear Texas,

Even though I know it's not your fault that you have such a sucky climate, from time to time I still feel the need to point it out to you. It's the middle of December, for gosh dangit, and it should not be 75 degrees and muggy when I go outside to run at 7:30am. My air conditioner should not be running around the clock when my Christmas decorations are up. Do you realize that there's something sick and wrong about that? I know, you'll say that if I hate the climate here so much, I should go move to Oklahoma, which is getting pummelled by ice storms right now, or Minnesota, where the sun doesn't shine unless it's below zero, or Alaska, where the sun doesn't shine at all. I have relatives who live in all three of those states, and I'm guessing that they'd probably be happy for a chance to spend some time with Texas right now.

But enough is enough. It got hot here in March this year. It's been hot ever since. It's now two weeks from Christmas, and it's still freaking hot. I thought that Texans were joking when they warned me that the Houston climate had two seasons, "hot" and "hotter." I guess they weren't. Every time Eddie talks about a great cardiology opportunity in the Houston area, I send him my best nostril-flaring glare and warn him not to even think about it. I love so many things about living here-- I love the restaurants, the shopping, the great schools, the cheap housing, the relatively short commute for Eddie, the zoo and museums, the beach, and the friendly locals. I do not like the fact that I don't think my body has been truly dry since June of 2005.

Speaking of the locals, dear Texas, what do you do to inspire such loyalty from them? Do you pay them a kickback? Because they seem relatively unperturbed by the sight of candy cane lights on palm trees, of Santa wearing shorts, or of Christmas displays where Santa is riding a surfboard. They even seem to be proud of totally incongruous things like putting jingle bells on their flip flops. One thing that you've shown me is that the crusty New Englander in my heart needs seasons. Four of them. One of them must be cold. I may be tough about a lot of things, but I'm hopeless when it comes to the weather.

Sincerely,

Hot in Houston

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Glad you are back in the swing of things. We missed your commentary. :)

Gabriela said...

You're not doing much for my desire to move to Houston. It's 100 degrees here. Roasting. Like you, I am wet all.day.long. Nasty. At least you probably have central air. We have small window units and they aren't really doing it for me.

chloe said...

Oh...how I don't miss my days in Phoenix. Although, a little warmer than Utah would be nice.

Kermit~the~Frog said...

Living in Houston was such a love/hate thing for me (I remember when you mentioned it as a possibility I tried to talk you out of it). The climate did me in, and it was horrible for Scooter's allergies. The roads were ridiculous. But we loved our friends, and I just loved the oddity of Texans and their complete LOVE for Texas. Even transplants became diehards. It was amazing to watch, and to see it happen to me. Somehow, I ended up loving Texas, though I generally hate Houston. There are a couple of Texas Unis on our PhD list, so we may end up in the Lone Star again. (But not in Houston. Heh.)

You've been to Galveston, right? Don't move away until you've been there.

Doreen said...

I should let my husband read your post. Maybe that'll make him think twice about wanting to move there. Thing is, there could be some great opportunities for work. I just don't know if I could deal with the heat/humidity. I was glad to move away from Phoenix, and that wasn't even humid, just hot...

TJ said...

you should come to san antonio. its freezing here. but still wet...

frugalmom said...

I don't know if you know I grew up in Houston. The year I was 12, the weather at Christmas turned cold and a water pipe in my parent's bathroom froze and flooded a closet and our family was without water for 3 days and a plumber came on Christmas day and fixed our water. It DOES get cold there. Once every ten years or so :)