The irony of motherhood

I've been having a crappy day. I have a nasty cold. I had to drive downtown to the doctor's office today to find out that I've gained three pounds in the last two weeks. Then, to add insult to injury, I had to go straight from there to get measured for a bridesmaid's dress. Yep, my two year-old and I went to David's Bridal, where they proclaimed me a whale and took $225 from me. Then we went to the mall to pick up my newly-repaired watch. Only I missed my turn and ended up in a parking garage where I had to walk up three separate flights of stairs with the stroller to get to Macy's. I grabbed the watch, plopped it in my purse, and realized later that when they fixed it they mistakenly added two extra links, and now it hangs down to my elbow.

And the day did not get better from there. After picking up my kids from school, I totally lost it and yelled at my six year-old after telling him one time too many to stop hitting his sister while I was talking on the phone.

This evening, I decided we all needed to get out of the house and that a walk would be the perfect thing to improve our spirits. Before we left, the kids got the instruction not to run and to stay on the sidewalk where I could see them. Off we set and things were looking better. But right before we turned back onto our street, Isaac got sidetracked by someone's Halloween decorations, and the big kids ran ahead. They started to race, and Annie fell, scraping her knee.

I managed to guide her home while she wailed. I stuck her in the shower and she howled that I was killing her. We got water all over the bathroom floor as she fought me while I cleaned out the cut. She kept up her keening as I forced her nightgown over her head and got her tiny scrape bandaged. As we were leaving the bathroom, I slipped in the puddles and slid into the metal strip between the carpet and the linoleum. Since Annie was still weeping, I ignored the shooting pains in my foot and helped her into bed ("It hurts so much I need to sleep, Mommy"). Then I got Isaac into the shower, tracked Bryce down and got him into the shower, cleaned up the dirty clothes and found pjs for the boys. Only then did I look down at the carpet, which was covered in blood. My blood. When I stopped and looked at the sole of my foot, I found two long, deep cuts from the nails in the metal strip.

So what did I do? I wrapped a towel around my foot and finished bathing the boys. I got Annie settled on the couch with a pillow for her knee and a tv show to quiet her wails (she decided she did not want to go to bed at 5:45 after all). I should be making dinner (it's about an hour past dinnertime but Eddie isn't home yet), picking up messes, and scrubbing what looks like the after-effects of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre out of our carpet upstairs. But I'm indulging in a little bit of self-pity right now, so I'm blogging.

Feel sorry for me please. None of my kids do.

--originally published 11/9/06