Book Review: Quiet by Susan Cain

Title: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking
Author: Susan Cain
Enjoyment Rating: *****
Source: Ordered hardback from Amazon at my mother-in-law's insistence
Books I've read this year: 65

For years and years, I thought I was an extrovert. I think it started around the time I joined the LDS Church-- I suddenly had a chance to reinvent myself. I'd been quiet, shy, and kind of nerdy all my life, but around my church friends I became outgoing, bubbly, and even, for the first time in my life, popular. I was able to keep this going for an hour every weekday morning, three hours on Sundays, and once a month when we got together for dances. I'd even keep up the vivacity through Youth Conferences, Girls Camps, and one two-week BYU summer camp, but I was always the first one into bed at night, and I recognize that was a refuge. But in my home and school life (I was the only member of the LDS Church in my high school), I remained quiet and reserved.

When I got to college, I thought I'd be a social butterfly there too, but after a week or two, I started to get tired of all of the parties every night, and even though I said I'd date 30 guys the first month (to quench myself after a long drought of eligible boys), I only went out three or four times before I settled down with Eddie, who is a classic introvert. He's introverted enough, that, by comparison, I am outgoing and bubbly. I chose several jobs (teaching and college counseling) where it helps to be able to make small talk easily and think on your feet, and I'm not great at either one of those. Every day I'd come home feeling drained, especially the one year when I shared office space with five other people. Even now, as a SAHM, my favorite time of day is the hour after lunch when I put the baby down for a nap and (if they're home) make the other kids leave me alone so I can read. I need that down time in order to have the energy to get me through the rest of the day. I love to talk to good friends, but hate parties where I don't know people, and after a while, I sometimes even wish the good friends would go home. When I took the Myers-Briggs test for the first time (I think I was around 30) I was surprised to find that I was an introvert (an ISFJ, to be exact), and suddenly it all made sense.

If you are an introvert, or know, love, or parent one (and you probably do, since 1/3-1/2 of the US is populated by us) then this book would be highly instructive to read. And if you are one of the tribe, you'll probably read it nodding your head the whole time. There are chapters about introverted children (I have at least a couple of them), about how to navigate relationships when one partner is an introvert who wants to spend their weekends riding bikes and the other is an extrovert who wants to throw a party every Friday night, and about how school and workplace environments should be modified to better suit introverts. I loved the chapters on how introverts can find opportunities to recharge during the day, especially when they're in careers (like I was) that force them to be pseudo-extroverts. All in all, Quiet is a great read. I've recommended it to half a dozen friends. I wish it had been available for me to read sooner. Because, seriously folks, who was I kidding? I've already read 65 books and run about 800 miles this year-- both classic hobbies for introverts, and those are the two things that have allowed me to recharge so I can face my life with five loud, messy kids hanging over me all day long.