A letter to Rose-- December 20th

Dear Rose,

It's less than a week until Christmas and after a frantic weekend, I think we're almost ready. I'm hoping that by the time the girls get home from school tomorrow, I'll be able to set my schoolwork aside and just enjoy the next few weeks with our family. And that, our family, is what I want to write about today.


I know that over there in China, most families have one child, two at the most. While that situation definitely has its pros and cons (to discuss another day), here in the United States, it's common to see families with two or three children. Right now, there are four kids living in our house, and every one was welcomed with excitement and anticipation, both by us and by our friends. I know this isn't always the case. People tend to project their own wants and abilities onto others, and back when we thought we were only going to have four kids, I remember looking at families of six or seven and thinking "are they crazy?"

Thankfully, everyone I've talked with about adopting you has been far more generous than I might have been several years ago. While I have friends in the adoption communities whose families are downright hostile to the idea of adopting kids with special needs or from different ethnic backgrounds or going from a "normal" sized family to a "big" family, we're lucky that we haven't experienced that yet. In fact, our families have been wonderful. Whenever we talk to Daddy's family, they always ask about you and ooh and aah over your pictures. Mimi and Grandad included you in their "dozen little cupcakes" (their metaphor to talk about their grandchildren in their Christmas card this year). While I know some families might balk at us adding more kids, I'm pleased to say that they're anticipating your arrival almost as eagerly as we are.

Honestly, it wouldn't change anything from my perspective if people did say we were crazy. You're ours. We love you. And while we're absolutely delighted to know that in March you'll be ours forever, it is a little bittersweet to know that you'll be spending your first Christmas in an orphanage halfway around the world. We're celebrating on your behalf. Your presents are wrapped. Your stocking is hanging by the fireplace. Next Tuesday is your baby shower, and I feel so grateful that so many people who love us are eager to love you too.

Love,

Mommy