The Third First Day

Maren was alternately very excited and not so very excited about going back to school this morning. She's excited about seeing her friends again, but not so excited about being separated from Mommy. She was very excited about picking out this new dress to wear on the first day (she insisted that it had to be pink-- ALL pink) but not so excited about the prospect of eating lunch at school.

I understand how she's feeling. While I was excited to send her off to school today because I know she learns a lot there and has fun and it helps her with her anxieties, I also drove out of the parking lot wondering, "Now what do I do?" It feels really indulgent to be sending her off for a whole day when I'm home, especially when I know she'd rather be home with me.

So I guess that means that I won't climb back into my jammies and read a book. I won't crank up the iPad to finish Season 3 of The Wire. I'd like to do both of those things, but when I think of Maren, trying to hold back tears, it makes me feel like I have to do something productive. I know that means I should get cracking on my MFA project again, but right now I'm procrastinating by blogging.