Saturday, August 4, 2007

Six weird things about me

Nettie, of Singing a Verse of My Song (a fun new blog, btw), tagged me with this meme while I was gone over the weekend. So I'm obliging...

1) Weird inability to estimate

The other day I was talking to my mom on the phone and I was lamenting how hot it already was in Texas (80+ in March, it was 96 today!). That lament inevitably turned into how I had nothing to wear for the weather, because my shorts were all too short and my capris were all too heavy and I had no skirts. And because she loves me (and loves to shop for clothes), two new skirts arrived in the mail later that week (and no, I don't feel guilty because my 23 year-old sister still lives at home and my mom buys tons of clothes for her). As I was hanging up those skirts in the closet, I decided to count how many skirts I actually had. Including the velvet one I hardly ever wear, the black floral one that I love but threatens to fall off whenever I put it on and the two that really should be thrown out, there were seventeen. Yes, seventeen! If you had asked me, prior to counting, how many skirts I had, I probably would have said seven or eight. Similarly, I always, always underestimate how much my grocery bill will be each week. I walk through the store and do a mental tally of my items, and come up with a nice, round figure. I've decided that if I add $40 or $50 to my estimate I'll usually get the bill just about right.

2) I can spot a Mormon at a distance of 100 yards

And not by their BYU t-shirts. I really don't know what it is, although the modest clothing and the large families do tip me off. It must be the glow that Mormons have. Seriously though, when we go to large public gathering places (like Sea World this past weekend) I have an uncanny knack for picking out the Mormons. It's not like I'm out on a hunt for them either, I just see Mormons walking past me and I know. Of course, I can't verify that they actually are Mormon, because I'm not about to go up to them and ask, but I'm predicting I'm right with about 90% certainty. But take that for what it's worth, based on #1.

3) Mad face when I sit at the computer

Annie says I make a mean face when I sit at the computer. I don't know why, but since she always comes in and asks what's wrong, I guess it's true. And since this is my favorite spot in the house, I guess I make a lot of mean faces.

4) Insatiable love of bathroom humor

Yesterday at church the baby in the row behind us farted during a prayer and I was rolling in the aisle. I would think that as a well-educated, fairly cultured woman, I would have gotten beyond the first-grade fixation with potty humor, but I haven't. I love fart jokes, poo jokes, talking about pee, etc... My mom and mother-in-law are both horrified by my juvenile behavior, but I don't care. I act like an adult in all other areas, just give me my potty humor.

And piggybacking on the potty humor, I also get a big kick out of farts. I love to get in bed and fart and gross Eddie out. I think farting in the bathtub is fun. And yep, I'm the one who drops SBDs in public places and then blames it on someone else. One of the best parts of having kids is having someone to blame your farts on.

5) Reading myself to sleep

I can't fall asleep without reading. I always fall asleep with the light on. It drives Eddie crazy, but since he loves me he has learned to live with it.

6) Toe Dexterity

I have amazingly agile toes (if I do say so myself). Why bend over to pick up something small (under 3 pounds, I'd estimate), if you can just get it between your toes? When I was in high school I took a modern dance class and in one of the warmup exercises we were supposed to spread all five of our toes apart. I had the whole class in awe at how wide I could spread them. Even though they're short, my toes are almost like another set of fingers. The other day I was sitting in the passenger seat of the van and Eddie asked me to turn the air off. My feet were closer so I did it with my toes. He was totally laughing at me but I do things like that every day. Going barefoot is terrible for my heels, but it does wonders for my back.


--originally published 4/17/06

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