The hardest hour of the week...

...is really 70 minutes long.

Any mom who has ever done the sacrament meeting thing solo knows exactly what I mean. For those not in the know, children stay for the entire service during LDS (Mormon) sacrament meetings. When I was a child attending the Congregational church, the kids would stick around for a couple of songs, a couple of prayers, and then be dismissed to go to Sunday School. At my godmother's church, kids don't attend the service at all-- instead they go either to nursery or a special kids service. That's why church at so many Protestant churches is blissfully quiet (and they like it that way, as I learned the hard way once when visiting my godmother-- my kids and I were asked to leave the service). Instead, Mormon services are a 70-minute wrestle with the kids, which just gets them all hyped up for another two hours of wrestling with their primary teachers.

Eddie worked yesterday. He works about 50% of the time on Sundays, and pretty much every other Sunday he either plays the organ or leads the music (so he gets to sit by himself on the stand and watch me struggle with the kids). I can't remember the last time he both came to church and sat with me the whole time. Anyway, the leaders in our ward are trying to crack down on the noise during sacrament meeting. I mean, I understand their point, with 40 kids ages 3 and under, and probably another 100 of Primary age (3-12), it can get really loud in the chapel. My kids, with the boundless energy they got from their dad's side of the family and the loud voices they got straight from my mother, are some of the worst offenders. A few weeks ago, one of the members of the bishopric wrote a rather pointed opinion piece in our ward's newsletter about the noise-level in the chapel. Since then, about five minutes before the meeting starts, one of the members of the bishopric has taken to standing at the podium and inviting us all to be reverent. As I said before, I understand their point...

... but I am about to crack under the pressure of trying to keep my kids quiet. I bring snacks (which they can only have if they're quiet for the first 20 minutes of the service), bring toys (which get taken away if they argue), and try to bring enough patience to get me through the hour. But I feel like I'm failing miserably. I feel like I'm the one with the wild monkeys in the spotlight.

My cousins all joke that I'm the "perfect" one. But I never have to worry about my friends at church thinking I'm perfect-- my kids' wildness during those 70 long minutes each week shows all of my weaknesses. This week I was on the verge of some major tears by the time I got to Sunday School. I'm always totally exhausted by the time church is over.

I understand, and totally respect, that it's easier to concentrate, feel the Spirit, and whatever else you're supposed to do during Sacrament Meeting (which I seem to have forgotten over the last 6 1/2 years) if the mood is quiet and reverent. I also agree that kids really benefit from being part of the meeting and might even learn something in the process. But so often, the two goals seem completely mutually exclusive.

Yesterday in Sunday School one of the women uttered one of the favorite Mormon platitudes when she said that we would never be tested beyond what we could bear. I don't think that's true-- I feel like I'm tested beyond what I can bear every Sunday, but I must be a glutton for punishment, because I just keep coming back for more.

--originally published 7/10/06