chocolate + guilt = Valentine's Day

Yeah, lots of people say it's about cupids and flowers and lingerie and love, but for me, Valentine's Day boils down to two things: chocolate and guilt. So it's a holiday that's all about the good and the bad and the bitter and the sweet.

Chocolate. Duh. My mom and I spent Saturday night (after the marathon birthday party) at Central Market, otherwise known as nirvana, buying out the store's chocolate supply. They lured us there with the promise of a chocolate festival, a chance to sample from at least ten different kinds of fancy artisanal brands. But after we got the kids in bed and made our way downtown, the festival was over. The tables were still set up and I could still smell the chocolate in the air, but all of the samples were long gone. But we still had fun and even without the festival my mom still managed to walk out of the store with more than $50 in chocolate, mostly for baking. I, who would rather eat than bake, walked out with a chocolate pot de creme and a chocolate mousse cake.

And even though I appreciate the Valrohna, the Scharffen-Berger, the El Rey and the Callebaut stuff my mom bought, I am, in no way, a chocolate snob. When I need it, I'll take it in any form-- instant pudding, Hershey's syrup, and, when feeling really desperate, Stephen's Hot Chocolate mix eaten straight from the canister. For the last few years, Eddie has bought me a little box of Godiva, which I've guarded jealously from the kids and savored until every piece was gone. This year, we'll pay homage to the good stuff by going out for gelato after dinner. I'm sure you know what kind I'll be getting.

Guilt. Pretty much everything about Valentine's Day makes me feel guilty. Bryce's kindergarten class had a party this afternoon. Attending the party would mean bringing the little kids along, right during the baby's nap. After consulting MOFs, I decided to stay home. I'm also feeling guilty because Eddie bought me the book I really, really wanted, and I know that he had already gotten me something else, but because of my witchiness over his lack of interest in Christmas and my birthday, he felt pressure to get the perfect thing for me for Valentine's Day. Add to that the guilt I'm feeling over letting my four year-old watch all of the Valentine's Day marathon on Noggin (she has a headache) and combine it with not making any pink treats or even wrapping the Valentine's gifts yet, and I'm just a big ole' ball of guilt.

It's a good thing there's chocolate on hand. It helps with the guilt.

--originally published 2/14/06